If we want to progress in life all right which is a value right.
There's a pretty good chance that you want to progress in life.
And if so have you ever considered what areas of your life you would like to progress in because of
seven different areas in life.
We can't progress and all of them all the time.
We've got our relationship to God a career or education.
You're gonna be growing and insanely understanding right now through this course.
Earlier there's our personal finances.
All right of course we want to naturally want to increase financially and grow.
But if we don't change anything about how we manage your finances and nothing's ever gonna change or
grow.
I've known some people who would define themselves as being broken skin for their whole lives.
All right.
I used to define myself as being broken skinned around about 10 10 years ago but when to stop finding
myself that way and decided you know what I have the capacity the potential to make money simmers absolutely
everyone else.
My attitude towards money change develops and you disciplines into my life and stars don't even know
what I.
What I would like to talk about right are just going to highlight here is this interest in world peace
All right.
I can link this back to an idea that we looked at in the last section of the course.
Remember I shared with you the story about letting peace be the umpire of our decision making.
All right.
If you think about why you're taking this course there might be some part of you who is looking to grow
and develop.
I'm guessing you are looking to grow and develop and some area of your life is because of some area
of your life.
You're not content or fulfilled in all right.
That's perhaps a reason or an area of your life the content of a fulfilled and because you haven't made
a degree of progress that you really want to make in this area of your life.
Now here's the thing.
We can only ever progress and change those areas of our life that we are aware aren't where we want
them to be.
The thought makes sense.
So let's go back to that idea.
We've got the present state we've got the desired state we've got where we're at in comparison to where
we want to be.
What I'm gauge in all of the time is how much peace I have in my life.
So I mentioned just five or ten minutes ago that if I don't have excitement in my life and some aspect
of my life I kind of get agitated.
I kind of get frustrated and perhaps I'll get a little bit restless and things like that.
So let's link that back in with peace.
All right.
An awareness because I'm aware of myself when I start feeling or becoming aware that oh I don't have
much peace in my life.
This reminds me that it's time to change something.
Something needs to change or I need to grow or I need to cut something out of my life or any to build
something into my life.
Then spurs me on to ask a whole lot of questions to look at what it is specifically that needs to change
and is being mindful of the main seven life areas that we have.
We're going to unpack this in the goals set and section by the way I'm going to share with you a really
cool tool that you can share with your clients call the life balance questionnaire that allows us to
break life down in seven different areas and in each of those seven different areas we can look at each
of those seven areas from multiple different perspectives.
So faith being future focused.
All right Faith if we thought have peace in the present is because there's an aspect of a life that
isn't where we wanted to be.
All right.
So we can use peace as the umpire and our decision making process in our decision making process when
we do not feel a peace in a certain area of our life i.e. in a relationship.
If we do not feel peace and the role or the job that we're doing then we do not feel peace with where
we're at financially.
If we do not feel peace with some of their relationships or their friendships or the social circles
or the social groups that were involved then then you know leads us to ask a question.
What do I want instead.
What is it that is going to give me more peace or what is it that's going to excite me.
Just ask you the question right now what is it in life that excites you.
What would you say.
What are you doing in life right.
No that's really giving you excitement.
No I just want to look at all of these far you know from a slightly different angle if that's okay because
who are our core values are there are core human needs right needs are very very different from what's
right for example I could say right know that I want a big house on the side of the hell with a more
it's good or owned than some new castle gates and I saw a thing but do I need to know I want more money
but do I want more money.
Do I need more money.
No I don't.
What else do I want.
I want a big fat chocolate cake right.
No winner in all Caramel Frappuccino with squishy cream on top.
But do I need to know.
Because it will make me go fat.
All right so there's lots of things in life that we want but there's not so many things that we need.
And it's crucial for us the foremost that we are able to separate the two because many clients are going
to come to hear given voice to that which they want but not always giving voice to that which they need.
So let me know just turn the focus of this conversation on you.
I've shared a few stories and I've got a few more to share but no let's just see if we can allow this
lesson is lecture and become a bit more alive for you.
Let's talk about progress right.
If I was to say to you right now that you will never progress in any area of your life ever again what
would you say.
How would you respond.
What would this be like for you.
No progress no moving forward no more no more growth or progress.
In fact let's just take both away.
What would you say.
What would a life look like for you.
If there was no more progress no more growth.
Oh.
Oh well what would there be to strive for.
What would there be to work for no more savings savings that are relevant.
You're not gonna grow anything you know gonna progress or move forward in anything life would just become
completely monotonous and stagnant.
Just call and run in circles doing the same thing all day.
Well if your efforts are gonna be meaningless nothing's ever going to change you never gonna move forward
in any area of your life.
Obviously that's not going to be the case but think about it all right.
Is progress is something that you want more off or is progress and not knowing that you're making progress
something that you actually need.
You need to know that you're making progress in life.
I need to know that I'm making progress in life.
I need to know that I'm growing an improvement in life.
Otherwise I'm just staying the same and thus empty is meaningless.
Right.
So how boats how about its excitement.
How about if I was to say to you that you will never experience any excitement again for the rest of
your life.
No more.
You're not allowed.
You cannot have any more excitement.
What would you say.
How would you respond.
Well what would be worth getting a bed for in the morning.
What security comfort zone and might be the case you've not heard any excitement for years hobos.
If I was to say you can never take another risk ever again.
Well some people who are naturally inclined to pursue stability and safety in life they're going to
be seeing fantastic Hallelujah.
But only in those grades.
All right.
But if you're anything like me and you are the kind of person who and pursues growth and values growth
and freedom in life you're most likely thinking oh my goodness that would be like absolute torture and
torment for me.
All right.
How about this connection.
Little word here at the bottom of the board.
All right.
Connection what his connection mean for you.
He ever considered what connection is if you ever considered and the connections that you made a missed
out on you know the depth of meaningful relationship you may have missed out on in life because you
prior prioritized security over freedom.
Have you ever thought have you ever considered.
But if two people are in grown together in a relationship they're going to be grown apart.
Have you ever considered that have you ever noticed or have you noticed or are you currently in the
process of noticing that as you grow and learn about yourself a little bit of distance creeps into your
relationships.
Because if you have noticed that that's very common.
Essentially a very accurate observation.
So what does this mean about your connections to let some people go to a fight for connection.
Do you wait for other people to fight for connection with you.
Are you entitled to something.
What do you want.
What do you need.
What are you prepared to prioritize in your life.
Because it's understanding our values on this level that allows us to make wise and well-informed decisions
about things we say yes to things we see or to and how it is that we ultimately invest our time.
What I'm going to suggest is that we generally only ever experience this depth of inner peace in life
when we know that our efforts have been well received by other people when we know that we are progressing
when we know that we are getting closer towards this freedom that we want and that we're and that we're
growing.
We feel peace when we're unified with other people in a connected kinda way we experience peace and
life within us.
And I'm gonna say this isn't a feeling it's more of a state.
All right we experienced peace in life where we choose just to be a true authentic selves.
And this is appropriate no because we look to that core identity more than when the last section of
the course is one thing understanding this but then it's something else fighting and choosing to be
authentic on a day to day basis.
Let's just unpack this idea just a little bit more.
Right.
So if I was to ask you how authentic you are are you are an authentic person are you a genuine person
or are you a people pleaser.
Are you false and do you prioritize keeping other people happy and telling people the things that you
think they want to hear rather than being honest with them rather than being a person of integrity.
What do you choose in life what you prioritize do you prioritize authenticity.
Sometimes at the cost of connection or do you prioritize connections sometimes over your own authenticity.
Because sometimes we've got to choose one over the other.
Let me give you an example a couple of years ago and I was in a relationship I had a relationship with
with it with a family member and this family member put me in a bit of a difficult situation.
This family member had had pretty much always remained the same with me.
You know a person who would speak to me in quite a dishonoring disrespectful way generally coming from
a place of advisory or person who would try to advise me all of the time.
And we'd had a few conversations about this.
I said listen you know in order for our relationship to grow in order for the health of our connection
to to deepen and strengthen you're going to have to stop trying to teach me and you and I have to stop
trying to advise me we're going to have to connect in a more meaningful way and be open and honest and
authentic with each other.
And this family member took offense.
This family member said you know who do you think you were you know and you don't love me you don't
respect me I am ashamed of you I am disappointed in you in all this kind of stuff.
All right.
And then got up to walk out the room.
There was this person got up to walk out the room.
Haven't taken offense at the simple request that I'd made a says.
I said you know if you walk out the room right now there will be consequences.
There will be consequences.
Right.
I will not follow.
We're not playing these games.
This is real life.
We're playing here right now.
Some childlike squabble and she says that's OK.
That's fine.
What will be will be so you know and life goes on.
And obviously it was a bit more to the conversation a bit more to the interaction than that but this
day in question.
Right.
I was presented with quite a difficult choice to make.
All right.
This family member this person who's been in my life for a long long time who I love who would genuinely
care about wasn't willing to treat me with the respect that I was requesting.
Maybe I'll be trapped with the same way we we treat other people the way that we ourselves want to be
trapped.
Right.
We'd be the kind of people for other people that we ourselves want to have them be for us.
Right.
So this was what I was doing my empathic best to do all right.
But here I had the option I could choose to be completely honest be completely authentic in my imperfect
way of being authentic or I could choose to completely overlook how this family member was speaking
to me and just accept her for the purpose of keeping the connection in place.
What I'm seeing here.
All right.
Sometimes we can prioritize connection the cost of her own authenticity which is actually a mark of
our own lack of integrity sometimes though if we are no longer willing to put up with other people's
nonsense and if we are in fact at a stage in life where there's time for us to build some healthy boundaries
in our life we're no longer willing to take other people's nonsense anymore.
Then sometimes just sometimes we're going to have to prioritize our authenticity and our integrity which
might come at the cost of the connection we have with some other people.
Let me just share another idea with you here.
Sometimes the greatest risk we can take in life is actually just be in our true authentic selves because
when we are committed to the process of just be there were true authentic selves.
On one level this is us exercising freedom freedom no longer becomes a destination at some point in
the future but it actually becomes a tangible reality right here right now.
As a coach as a practitioner I guarantee you you will have conversations and interactions with that
many clients and you'll see.
But I hope this manager or I help this boss or I have this family member or my husband or my wife and
you'll see Well have you been honest with this person.
And I'll say no I can't be I can't be honest I couldn't tell this person once was was really true for
me and we've got to get good at asking better questions so you're not willing to be honest.
Does that mean they're actually really willing to sacrifice and compromise your integrity.
You're really willing to compromise your own authenticity so you'd be more willing to lie to this other
person and be deceitful or dishonest for the purpose of maintaining the connection.
It doesn't seem to me like you know this is a relationship that this other person should even be in.
I know personally I certainly don't want to be in a relationship with anyone who'd be that hell bent
and committed on being on integrity and not dishonest with me
challenge in conversation isn't it.
Look at this right.
Seriously the greatest risk we can take in life sometimes is just being ourselves because when we're
being our true authentic selves which can only be once we are aware of ourselves once we have grown
and become this individual that we actually can visualize ourselves become in this sometimes means that
we're going to have to start being the kind of person other people have come to expect us to be.
It may be the case that we've got to stop being who it was that we have been for people at some point
in the past.
But this is what growth is all about.
At least whom we're growing as individuals at least when we're being honest about how we're grown with
people friends family members loved ones employees for all employers whatever we're giving them the
opportunity to decide whether we're the kind of people that they want to remain in a relationship with
or not.
But why would we ever want to see someone for the purpose of remaining connected with them.
All right.
What is it that we actually need.
Are we just wanting some security and those connections or do we want to be free free to just simply
be who we are.
What do you seriously think freedom is all about freedom.
What.
When I have so much money in the bank I will be free garbage.
You will be free the second you decide to exercise your own authenticity and just simply be who you
are and be honest about what your boundaries are what your standards are what your expectations are.
Let people know where they stand with you and if you go there fast you're going to become the authority
and guidance and coaching your clients through the same process.
But you've got to go there fast my friend.
You really do.
I promise you.
All right.
Significance I'm guess and the only thing is ever going to really hold us back from being all for being
ourselves and being open from being honest from being valuable for people is when we've fallen into
a significant trap.
Do you know what I mean by the significance trap when people prioritize making a name for themselves
or being recognized by others have been a certain person and then making a difference making a difference
walks hand-in-hand with us taking a risk embracing uncertainty leaving the security comfort zone stepping
out towards freedom.
We grow through the process of home grown through the process.
What are we growing and growing and confidence were growing and decisiveness were growing and responsibility
were owning who we are what owning who we are and we've been through the core identity coachable coaching
model know so we know we're not our roles we know we're not our feelings we know that if we are choosing
a certain lifestyle choice it's because we're choosing it we're not victims we haven't been born into
any box that is not how we have been made we're born with the ability to exercise our free will at all
times and in all situations regardless of what common popular cultural belief says all right.
Does it matter that freedom that we have is our freedom to choose something different.